That’s right. It’s official. The web’s next API is round the corner and it’s so ahead-of-its-time that a version number was skipped!

HTML5 was a misunderstood creature. To some deluded souls it was the very embodiment of a new universal revolution: The Rounder Corner & Drop Shadow movement. To others, it was the name given to every thing web-related in 2012. Even your microwave was powered by HTML5.

Well, these people were wrong. HTML5 didn’t live up to all that. Its APIs were diverse and technically sound but wildly insufficient for the real world.

And so we have deliberated thusly: a new wonder of technical achievement is born from the wreckage of misused technical initialisms: HTML7.

What does it do?

Well, by embedding a webkit instance in every consumer product we have created a truly ubiquitous API. So, you can now control the following devices via HTML7’s new DOM interface:

  • Your lawnmower
  • Your microwave
  • Your TV
  • Your alarm system
  • Your space shuttle
  • Your protoss mothership

Welcome to the truly abstracted universe… where even WebKit is run in an instance of WebKit!

And don’t worry, there will only be one language to worry about: LatteDartScript.

Thanks for reading! Please share your thoughts with me on Twitter. Have a great day!